HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She needs sedatives and a leash
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
