Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
