I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
