I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
