How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
