Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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