Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
