Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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