Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
that is very illegal...i love you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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