you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Randomize
