I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
