can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I stole a fireplace last night.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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