We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
