i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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