Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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