so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
