how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
