Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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