So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
