glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The air was thick with penises
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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