Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
