Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Randomize
