Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
