At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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