its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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