She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
