white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
