the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
