I am puke
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
