idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
