How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
