toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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