I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
