So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
