I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
