He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
