I CAN MOONWALK!
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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