and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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