I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
i think im in europe. pls send help
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