i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
