Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
