Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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