I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
