Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
