This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
be right there i have to get my cape
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
