how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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