In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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