i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
