cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
