I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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