you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
barbara walters just said penis...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
im holly from the hills drunk
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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