at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm way too hungover for life right now
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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