If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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